Surrounded by millions, sitting alone

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You may remember my little going off of Facebook thing? You know, where I sat down one day and spilled all of my secrets of social media addiction? Yeah that’s the one.

Well, a little update here? It has been wonderful times a million.

Because you see, there are lots of wonderful little things going on in my little world and the people who know are the people who care about me. And I celebrated a birthday in the most simple of ways. Because I’ve been sick some days and people around me loved me for real life. We’ve taken road trips, attended important things; even buried a cat. And I witnessed it all! (because usually I would have been too worried about my 600+ friends witnessing it all that I would have missed it by taking a picture to share or updating my status.) Side note: Oh man, i love status updates. It’s like  news all wrapped up in a wonderful package.  Oh, oh! and I miss you people so much! Send me a snail mail, email? I’ll reply, really I will.

I digress. Annnndddd, I’m lame. (…pssttt, it’s true though, go ahead and send that letter)  ; )

This video?

Yup, it’s amazing. Soak.it.up.

Social Media is WONDERFUL.

 

But so are Oreos.

Too much of anything is just too much. And.I.had.to.put.the.cookie.down. as far as social media is concerned.

Shout out to Oreo fans everywhere committed to living a more simple life with a little less social media!

All my love,
Kati

Why the only fight worth fighting is the fight for love: A daughters story of her fighting dad.

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As I type- someone I love fights to breathe.

Gone are the days of important phone calls, junk mail to read.

The phone calls missed, the birthdays forgotten.

All matter not.

This is the truth of life friends.

We will all fight. We will fight over dirty laundry, dishes, and kids who have places to go.

We will fight with neighbors over property lines, cooks over food served cold. The phone company over high bills and insurance companies over unpaid promises.

But when the time comes to fight for life: those moments will not matter.

What will matter is, did you love.

Did you love when it was hard. When it wasn’t deserved? Did you love after years of absence and neglect?

Were you Jesus to someone?

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My dad left. He was fighting hard for custody of me and didn’t win. And when he lost, he left. And I never saw him again.

It wasn’t until a dozen years later that he called out of the blue to meet.

We’ve seen each other every year – once or twice, sometimes more for the past several years.

And the reason of absence doesn’t matter- the loss for words. The birthdays forgotten and the books never read.

What matters is now. What matters are the years after the dozen lonely ones. The years of having babies and those babies calling him, grandpa. Years of random phone calls from him- sometimes an email.

What matters is today. That when a fight ends- either his or mine, we will have loved no matter what.

May you choose, friends. To fight the battle that matters. The battle to love others- no matter what.

1 john 1:19

“We love because he [jesus] first loved us.”

And that dad of mine?

Well he’s pretty great after all.

Loves today and always friends,

Kati

Slow down, your kids are watching. A 13 year old’s view of a busy mom.

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A few months back, I was drowning.

There I was. A wife to one, mom to six. Between homeschooling, work, several different kid activities a husband in full time school–I felt the world closing in around me.

I never knew she was watching.

At the peak of my despair (can we call it that?) I felt the lord gently telling me [well, actually more like, scream at me] “Let it all go, live simple, love big and sit more.”

So, I did it. We stopped swim-team, stopped packing the days full of activities, I made a better shopping schedule — to keep from spending all week in the car running back and forth to the store; and we even sold the puppy.

I started sitting more. I started saying no. I looked at my phone less. I stepped away from social media. I stopped trying to be everyone’s savior.

A few weeks after this change had become the new “me”, my Alli, just a teenager read me a poem she just so happened to have laid on her heard during the night.


Slow Down, Your Kids Are Watching

Why is life so busy?
People to see, places to go,
Someone to call, to text.
Gotta update my Facebook status,
I should Tweet  that.
Why are my kids always
Asking for food?!
Homework, bills,
Deposits, withdrawals,
My boss is mad again.
She just had a baby,
What should I cook for her?
I need to get them a wedding gift and
Wish them a happy honeymoon!
Happy Birthday to you,
Here’s a card.
Sorry about my handwriting,
I was in a hurry.
My husband and his job,
He’s never home anymore.
Prom, seriously?
Time to mow again,
Should probably water my garden
it’s close to dying.
My glasses broke,
She needs braces?!?!
Summer’s almost over,
School starts soon… school supplies.
New shoes! Guess it’s time.
I need groceries!
Soccer, football, basketball practice.
Doctor’s appointments on Monday.
Please feed your fish.
When does church end again?
The crock pot beans should be done soon
I have an email to send before three.
Library visit, okay!
Almost out of gas.
Sick? Wash your hands!
Go take a shower now.
Did you brush you teeth?
Are you ok?
Get well soon!
Remember the old days when life wasn’t as crazy as this?

~Alli Gibson

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Wow. Only God knew she saw my good intentions as just another stressed out momma.

A good little reminder maybe? A reminder to live simple, love big and sit more. We only have this life, and they are watching.

From one busy momma to another,

Kati

You could tell me all day long I’m horrible & I might listen better.

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We have this place.

In the kitchen, where we seem to gather most. Just an $8 bottle of chalk board paint, an empty wall and scrap wood for makeshift frames. We share lots of words there.

The encouraging place. It’s where every soul in our little home has a place to be loved a little special. We call it the, “speak life wall”

And there, she has written something to me.

The mom.

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My oldest, a lover of words, like me– she simply writes:

“You’re so… thoughtful, giving, and kind.”

And I think…

“Is she speaking to ME?”

Because those words don’t want to settle within my soul– no way. I can feel myself pushing them out.

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Why do we do that? At what point do we, “adults”, go from thinking we’re awesome, wonderful, and capable of doing anything (like the six little children in my home think) to thinking we’re just a mean old lady?

How do our men go from thinking they can be a super hero and save the world to thinking they are no better than the desk he sits behind at work? Why can’t they dream big anymore?

Words.

Words are where it started. Somewhere in the middle– somewhere between acne, leg hairs, bad grades, and 90’s big hair; we lost the “amazing” in our life and just started to settle for, normal.


We started seeing the yucky. We started feeling the dark little parts of our soul.  We let ourselves become identified by our worst, rather than our best.

We let the words within our souls go from, “You are amazing” to, “You can’t even get THAT right.”


How about this?

Today- What if we let the words of others sink into our souls. When someone says you’re pretty- say, “Why thank you.” Rather than, “Oh, thanks… it’s a bad hair day.” When someone says, “You did good!” Don’t reply with, “Oh well… except that little part…” Just say, “Thanks!”

Let those words heal. — I know I need healing.

Today- Let’s be givers of words. Encouraging every little soul who walks by.

“You look pretty today.”

“Wow, kiddo… you’re so strong!”

“My goodness, honey- aren’t you handsome today?”

They won’t want to let the words sink in at first. But if we keep doing this little test of love… I bet they’ll start realizing, they’re fearfully and wonderfully made.

Let’s praise HIM by using healing words, speaking into others lives.

Because those around us are wonderfully made.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,  I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14 NIV”

I’m right there with ya!

Loves,

Kati


Someone you know, perhaps? Share the love today.

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Some of you have asked how to receive posts in your email: it’s simple. On the lower right hand side of the screen there should be a “follow” button. Click and enter your email. It’s totally safe.

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Um, yeah… is there an ad below here? A creepy ad  (yes, directly below here, some strange video, perhaps?) I didn’t put it there = / And I didn’t choose what it will advertise. Sorry about that.

There are hundreds of reasons why I’m not a good mom.

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Throughout my day- I hear them.

I hear them all.day.long

The voices.

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Among the toys strewn out– all over the yard. The mower that man of mine still leaves parked right in front of the house.

The voices tell me.

“You’re such a failure.”

Any mom could do better than you.”

“What were you thinking? Six kids? Half of a dozen? Maybe more one day? They would be better off — only children.”

“You.yelled.again.”

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It happened all of a sudden. My body decided to go against me. Go against my to-do list. Go against my plans, my work, my mothering, my everything. And I wound up lying empty in the hospital on my sons eighth birthday needing an emergency surgery.

Right there, written on my arm– the words of strength. “She is clothed with strength and dignity– she laughs with no fear of the future…”  You know. That Proverbs 31 Woman.

Well. This momma worries about the future every single day. And finding myself broken down, sick, and empty was just another easy target for the enemies lies to sink deep within my mind. Fighting for my heart.

You see, those words written on my arm don’t do a very good job at keeping the lies away or the hospital bands away– they don’t even keep the ugly hospital gown away. ; )

My savior has to do all of that.

There are hundreds of different reasons I am the worst mom in the world.

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But from very moment I became a momma, thirteen years ago, those voices have been telling me that.

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And every day since I surrendered my life to that sweet Jesus; HIS voice keeps telling me,  “I’ll trust you with more.”

“I know you can do it.”

“Slow down. Speak soft.”

“You’re lovely”

“You’re beautiful.”

“They.love.you.”

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And when the voices say,

“I don’t even know why you keep that scripture in the window? It’s not like you practice it everyday…”

My savior says, “You think those verses are only for you?”

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And when the voices say, “You’re just the same girl you once were.”

My savior says, “No, my dear. You’re not.”

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And when I think, nobody ever even notices-- He simply reminds me:

“Six little souls are watching you closely.”

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“And someday? Someday they will say…”

“You were perfect- flaws and all.”

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For the mom who thinks she’s never good enough. For the mom, like me, who thinks there are hundreds of reasons someone else could be doing this job better…

THIS is for you:

God made you, you. And he doesn’t make mistakes.

You, my sweet one, are loved.

Happy Mothers Day.  <3

Kati

Ready to quit? Perhaps it’s time to get dirty…

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As we approach yet another year of the FREE Community SHARE our little family puts on each year (a time when people donate items they no longer want and we set up the local community center as a store where people can come and get all they want for FREE) I am overwhelmed with the amount of people helping. This morning, I was thinking of a story I wrote two years ago. It was our second year of doing the SHARE and I wanted to quit.

I hope this story of my failures helps encourage you to be strong and do something God has laid on your heart!


“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done.

We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”

–Mother Teresa


April 2012

I almost didn’t do it.

I walked into the house and said, “I’m quitting it all.”

“I’m tired.”

Ever felt that way?

 

 

Just because you have a calling on your heart, doesn’t make it easy.

Actually, it’s easier to give up– or better yet, not even start.

Did you know, I’m a quitter? Did you know, I’m a mess? Did you know, sometimes I get tired and want to give up? Did you know sometimes, I yell, cuss, and wish for a quick shot of something hard (that being hard liquor for those of you with virgin vocabulary ; )

If you think less of me now– you thought too much of me to begin with.  

I am so broken. 

 

Crying hard, I yelled “Why do I have to start everything!? Why can’t I just be a part of something?”

 

Little did I know, I was apart of something bigger than me. Did you know, if you knew who I am apart from Him– you would turn and walk away. I wonder what she did.

What did she do? What did she say? There, looking Grace in the eyes– How did she react? 

“Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery.

 

They put her in front of the crowd. “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.

They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”“No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”


John 8:1-11

Did she sit and anxiously await the following Sunday when she could go to church and share what happened to her? How about starting each morning with devotion? Did she sit in her comfy, cozy house by the fire and meditate on His goodness with christian music playing in the background? Perhaps she even gave a shout out on Facebook of how big and good her God was.

Or wait! Her eyes were open to grace, open to what she had been forgiven of– she was now “better than that.” Better than that person she once was. Did she forget? Did she forget where she came from? Did she forget what it felt like?

Did she forget the Grace in His eyes and how they looked on her with compassion, love, and mercy– regardless of what she had done? Did she know she didn’t deserve it? 

 

Don’t get me wrong, Christian music is good, and I love me some cozy meditation beside the fire. And of course, we all know–quiet bible time before my day is full of loud, is the best start to the day. But what good are those devotions, those songs, that grace– if my hands are not getting dirty.

What good are those scriptures; God breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, and training in righteousness, if I’m sitting on the sofa reading my Bible–maybe even baking cookies for a church bake sale– but I have not loved with my hands, with my feet, with my story.

 

 

“But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise you are only fooling yourselves.For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.” James 1:22-25

 

So, I quit. I threw my fit. Cried real hard. Felt overwhelmed. Got back up. And started to plan the SHARE– where people could come and get whatever they needed or wanted. All for free.

I asked some people to help. For some, it was their first time to feel the dirt. Some felt uncomfortable; some felt stretched.  For that day, we lived the scriptures– we dug through bags of peoples junk making it treasures for someone else.

 We even had christian music playing in the background. 

 

 

 

It’s not about me. It’s not about what I have done. I have done so little. In fact, more bad than good. No, friends. It’s about the opportunity to be a part of the big story– The God Story.

It’s about Grace.

It’s about the unexplainable, always perfect, always covering, always good, love of our sweet Jesus. It’s about knowing, you are never too far from Grace. Did you hear that? You are never too far from Grace. Your storm is never too big, your attitude is never to rotten, your pain is never to deep. Your past is never too ugly, your choices never define you. That love that covers the dirt, the wounds, the imperfections– yup, it’s always there.

Oh, friends I can only hope! When we have discovered this gift, this grace, this LOVE… it would cause us to be crazy! It would get us off the sofa and into the dirt, not only reading but living the scriptures. It would make us tired and even a little crazy. Oh, that It would keep us bent low to the ground, healing through helping.

 


Much love,
Kati