There are hundreds of reasons why I’m not a good mom.

Standard

 

Throughout my day- I hear them.

I hear them all.day.long

The voices.

20140509-161751.jpg

20140509-161818.jpg

20140509-161832.jpg

20140509-161845.jpg

20140509-161921.jpg

20140509-161942.jpg

20140509-162006.jpg

Among the toys strewn out– all over the yard. The mower that man of mine still leaves parked right in front of the house.

The voices tell me.

“You’re such a failure.”

Any mom could do better than you.”

“What were you thinking? Six kids? Half of a dozen? Maybe more one day? They would be better off — only children.”

“You.yelled.again.”

20140509-162212.jpg

It happened all of a sudden. My body decided to go against me. Go against my to-do list. Go against my plans, my work, my mothering, my everything. And I wound up lying empty in the hospital on my sons eighth birthday needing an emergency surgery.

Right there, written on my arm– the words of strength. “She is clothed with strength and dignity– she laughs with no fear of the future…”  You know. That Proverbs 31 Woman.

Well. This momma worries about the future every single day. And finding myself broken down, sick, and empty was just another easy target for the enemies lies to sink deep within my mind. Fighting for my heart.

You see, those words written on my arm don’t do a very good job at keeping the lies away or the hospital bands away– they don’t even keep the ugly hospital gown away. ; )

My savior has to do all of that.

There are hundreds of different reasons I am the worst mom in the world.

20140509-163131.jpg

 20140509-162100.jpg

But from very moment I became a momma, thirteen years ago, those voices have been telling me that.

20140509-162110.jpg

And every day since I surrendered my life to that sweet Jesus; HIS voice keeps telling me,  “I’ll trust you with more.”

“I know you can do it.”

“Slow down. Speak soft.”

“You’re lovely”

“You’re beautiful.”

“They.love.you.”

20140509-162020.jpg

And when the voices say,

“I don’t even know why you keep that scripture in the window? It’s not like you practice it everyday…”

My savior says, “You think those verses are only for you?”

20140509-162150.jpg

And when the voices say, “You’re just the same girl you once were.”

My savior says, “No, my dear. You’re not.”

20140509-162126.jpg

20140509-161735.jpg

20140509-161711.jpg

And when I think, nobody ever even notices-– He simply reminds me:

“Six little souls are watching you closely.”

20140509-164933.jpg

20140509-164843.jpg

“And someday? Someday they will say…”

“You were perfect- flaws and all.”

20140509-164951.jpg

For the mom who thinks she’s never good enough. For the mom, like me, who thinks there are hundreds of reasons someone else could be doing this job better…

THIS is for you:

God made you, you. And he doesn’t make mistakes.

You, my sweet one, are loved.

Happy Mothers Day. 

Kati

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s