Throughout my day- I hear them.
I hear them all.day.long
Among the toys strewn out– all over the yard. The mower that man of mine still leaves parked right in front of the house.
The voices tell me.
“You’re such a failure.”
“Any mom could do better than you.”
“What were you thinking? Six kids? Half of a dozen? Maybe more one day? They would be better off — only children.”
It happened all of a sudden. My body decided to go against me. Go against my to-do list. Go against my plans, my work, my mothering, my everything. And I wound up lying empty in the hospital on my sons eighth birthday needing an emergency surgery.
Right there, written on my arm– the words of strength. “She is clothed with strength and dignity– she laughs with no fear of the future…” You know. That Proverbs 31 Woman.
Well. This momma worries about the future every single day. And finding myself broken down, sick, and empty was just another easy target for the enemies lies to sink deep within my mind. Fighting for my heart.
You see, those words written on my arm don’t do a very good job at keeping the lies away or the hospital bands away– they don’t even keep the ugly hospital gown away. ; )
My savior has to do all of that.
There are hundreds of different reasons I am the worst mom in the world.
But from very moment I became a momma, thirteen years ago, those voices have been telling me that.
And every day since I surrendered my life to that sweet Jesus; HIS voice keeps telling me, “I’ll trust you with more.”
“I know you can do it.”
“Slow down. Speak soft.”
And when the voices say,
“I don’t even know why you keep that scripture in the window? It’s not like you practice it everyday…”
My savior says, “You think those verses are only for you?”
And when the voices say, “You’re just the same girl you once were.”
My savior says, “No, my dear. You’re not.”
And when I think, nobody ever even notices-– He simply reminds me:
“Six little souls are watching you closely.”
“And someday? Someday they will say…”
“You were perfect- flaws and all.”
For the mom who thinks she’s never good enough. For the mom, like me, who thinks there are hundreds of reasons someone else could be doing this job better…
THIS is for you:
God made you, you. And he doesn’t make mistakes.
You, my sweet one, are loved.
Happy Mothers Day. ❤