When even your children seem to hate you and you just feel hopeless.

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It was the 16th time that finally broke the window.

She picked up the shoe for the 16th time, mad at the world. She threw and it broke.

You would think the walls would have come down after that.

You thought wrong.

But what do you do when your child hates you? When she looks at you with hate because you’re not the mother of her birth? What do you do when you know she loves your husband more, her dad more.

Simply because: it’s not men she has issues with- it’s mothers.

Because it’s the mother who left. It’s the mother who made the bad decisions. It’s the mother who never stood up for her children. The fathers came and went- it was he mother that always let her down.

So, it doesn’t matter what you do. It doesn’t matter how you love. You always remind her of

a mother.

And really, you just want to be a momma. You just want to hug ,and kiss, and cuddle away bad memories and hard times. You want to say time and time again- “You’re safe here now.”

But time and time again you’re left holding back screams. You’re left wanting to shout, “I AM THE ONE WHO IS HERE! I AM THE ONE WHO LOVES! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HURT ME?”


We all have windows don’t we?

Days that have been shattered into a million pieces by someones unkind, thoughtless words. The diet that failed once again. The man who didn’t call. The wife who never returned. The mother that let us down. The brother who broke the promise. The family member who broke all of the rules and harmed someone close to you. The mother in law who never forgives. The child who doesn’t seem to ever care- and the battle that.never.ends.

There are windows all around us.

We look into those windows and the reflection peering back to us changes every day.

Some days it says, “You are beautiful” Some days it says, “You are a piece of trash” Some days it says, “You are loved.” Other days it says, “Who could ever love you?”

And then, one day it happens. You just can’t take it any more.

You pick up the shoe and throw it through the glass- hoping for the enemies lies to stop.

And they still come.

Her lies are still there. The broken glass didn’t fix anything. The truth of her past is still as real today as it was yesterday. All the terrible things she yelled at me that day, she’s still yelling.

No. Broken glass doesn’t fix anything. And the same is true of us isn’t it? Broken friendships. Don’t fix anything. Broken promises. Don’t fix anything. Broken marriages. Don’t fix anything.

No. The only brokenness that fixes anything – is brokenness at the foot of the cross.

Dear one.

There are times when there are just no answers. There are no fixes. There are no explanations to why something happened. You are sad, Jesus is sad, and everyone involved is broken into a million pieces.

And the truth is, you.just.don’t.want.to.get.out.of.bed.

I only want to speak these words into your heart today- because He is speaking them into my very own heart.

He loves you. He is close. He is watching. He is proud. He is good. He is just. He is the only thing that will never break. He is the only glass that never shatters. He is able to take your brokenness and make it new. He is watching you.

He loves you and never stops seeing the full, new, beautiful you.

So when you look into that window and you see the ugly reflection peering back at you- remember. We all have a beauty inside of us that Jesus is working on. A beauty that calls out to the savior to make it new each day.

I am there. You are there. Your Christian neighbor is there. Your pastor is there. Your best friend who does everything right is there. The mother that always hurts you is there. The hurting daughter in my home. She’s there.

We are all there. Imperfect, just trying to get a glimpse of Jesus each day. Just a small touch of his robe. We’re all just trying to be made new- time.and.time.again. Breaking the glass won’t fix it. Yelling words we don’t mean won’t fix it. Giving up won’t fix it.

Giving in to Jesus is all that will make anything new.

“Just then a woman who had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding came up behind him. She touched the fringe of his robe,  for she thought, “If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.”

Jesus turned around, and when he saw her he said, “Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well.” And the woman was healed at that moment.” Matthew 9:20-22

Oh, friends. To long for just the touch of his robe. The newness that comes from the simple touch of Jesus.

Jesus is saying to each of us every day. “My child, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well! Not your actions, not your failures, not your successes. Not your method of parenting, or your tithe amount. Not your involvement in church. Nothing but your faith in me.”

Beautiful one: May you know your true beauty today. May you know he is fighting for your heart, for your soul, for the renewing of your mind.

When the 16th time comes. May you fall to your knees and surrender to only the touch of His robe. My you never give up. May you never look down. May you feel loved and cherished by the ONLY one who loves fully.

Jesus.

Broken, earthly, and nothing compared to Jesus~

Kati


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Um, yeah… is there an ad below here? A creepy ad  (yes, directly below here, some strange video, perhaps?) I didn’t put it there

= / And I didn’t choose what it will advertise. Sorry about that.

No matter what you’ve been told, no matter what you’ve done- God loves, no earning required #14daysofsimplelove

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Francis Chan poses the question:  “Can you worship a God who isn’t obligated to explain His actions to you? Could it be your arrogance that makes you think God owes you an explanation? “

My heart longs for heaven.

To the point that sometimes, the enemy’s voice speaks louder than my Saviors.

Some days I wonder, how do I turn to someone and tell them- this is the best life.

I remember when I felt that way. I remember thinking this was the best life. When I first found grace. Before my eyes were always so open.

Now, I feel my heart will explode and even worse, sometimes it lies. Some days I get mad at where God has me, some days I feel alone. Some days, I feel like a pawn in the game called God.

Some days, I’m mad because I can’t just close my eyes and get lost in my own world. School, kids, husband, jobs, chickens, garden, games, trips, fun, privilege.

Some days, I manage it all– I balance it well, GOD- school, kids, husband, jobs, chickens, garden, games, trips, fun, privilege.

Some Sundays, my heart sings for joy with the body of Christ, others it hurts and has distrust for the body. Some days, I feel like it’s all a lie– this family.

Some days, when I cross the Christians in our town, hair pulled up high, skirts hanging long and mean furrowed brows looking at me– I get mad– because I am reminded of that “god” who I could never touch as a child because I wasn’t holy enough. Why can’t they ever smile back, just once?

Sometimes, I want the political views and opinions to stop and the praying to begin– some days I want to hear someone say, “Jesus loves Barack Obama as much as he loves me.”  Random, I know.

Some days I just feel like it’s all too pretty. This Christian life. So, people die. And I sit on the sofa with my apple computer typing on a blog? So, people in Kenya are shot to death for gathering to worship and I get to pick and choose the church that fits me best? And to be honest, I’m so picky– none of them do. Again, the anger.

Oh friends– if you think less of me now, you thought too much of me to begin with.

I’m so broken.

Some days, the enemy speaks louder than love. Some days, he disguises himself as love, as help, as hope, as my heart. And every day, it breaks me even more.

Sometimes, the enemy tells me I’m too privileged for His [God’s] love– too comfortable, too inconstant, too hurt, too wounded for love. Sometimes, he tells me I’m not good enough, I don’t do enough, I sat too long or didn’t read enough. Sometimes, he tells me I think too many bad thoughts, I hurt too many peoples feelings- I didn’t send enough thank you’s or I didn’t donate enough. All the time he tells me, I don’t do enough and I could be better.

And then the whisper comes,

1 Kings 19:9-16 (NIV)

“…And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lordwas not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave…”

God was in the whisper.

That God of ours, in the mist of all my storms, He simply whispers so gently to me–“you are loved.”

“i love you”

no matter what you do– no matter what you don’t do

no matter how you feel or what you hear– I love you.

you are loved.

Sometimes I wonder–Is it the grace that’s hard to understand,

–or the free gift of unconditional love.

Both the same, I know, in His eyes– but uncompromisable and totally different in my mind. 

In this world where you have to earn everything– He whispers,

“I love– no earning required.

 Not only you, I love them all.”

I love the mean furrowed brow Christian in your town. I love the immature Christian who never seems to grow, I love the political person, I love the man who shot the Kenyan Christians, I love you in your pretty house, playing with your children just as much as I love the hopeless without a house to play in. 

And I’m again, conflicted. Confused and bewildered at that whisper. At that love.

So, I continue to break. And choose to rejoice.

“When I am consumed by my problems-stressed out about my life, my family, and my job-I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice.” Francis Chan

Perhaps when we choose to rejoice, the singing is so loud– we can’t hear the lies anymore and the wounds left by the enemy’s lies begin to heal– becoming just a memory.


Maybe it’s not meant to be the best life— rather the best hope in this life. 

Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation. For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. Romans 5:1-11 NIV

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Are you a part of the 14 days of simple love challenge? Where we love simply, in some way — each day? Knowing our little bit of love can make a big difference. But wait! It gets even better! The great news——>> When the person we loved goes and loves someone else, all because of the love we showed them? Well, that could change the world.

Leading up to Valentine’s Day why not love, simply each of the 14 days? Besides, why save big love for only one day, right? Here is how it works:

Everyday there will be a new simple way to love posted here. Each day you use that simple love idea and run with it. However that way is possible for you- do it!

Everyone is looking for someone to love them. And the more we love, the happier our little hearts are.

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread” – Mother Teresa.

Today’s simple love: STOP. And let someone know they’re loved.

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Rejoicing with you today, [and so desperately in need of His love.]

Kati

#14daysofsimplelove guide:
Day One: Who said grown men can’t date boys
Day Two: Everyone’s view is different than mine
Day Three: That stinkin Proverbs 31 woman
Day Four: When it cuts you to the heart and the coffee sits cold

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